Transformation Wednesday: Who am I?

Do you ever look back and fail to recognize the person you once were?

When I look back, I see a much hopeful dreamy version of me— who is also naive and stupid, who is gullible and innocent, who trusts too much, cares too much. I guess we are all like that to some extent, and part of growing up is shedding that innocence and learning to be cautious, more careful with ourselves. But, do you ever feel maybe you got too careful now? Too critical of everything and everyone? It feels like I can almost pin point that moment of transformation. Last year has been crucial in my life— lot of lessons learned, a lot of things I had to see, a lot that I had to endure, and it did change me.

I am no more the hopeless romantic I used to be. I am no more the dreamy person I once was. I don't expect a lot from people now. I guess I have just learned how to be okay with life. I am more practical now. I have learned to not hold back myself for others' convenience. I have learned to voice my opinions. I learned my feelings are valid, and I have to love myself before anyone. I learned I don't need to meet everyone's expectations of me. The people who want to stay in my life will stay. And ones who won't aren't supposed to be in my life. I am enough, as I am.

Some days I do wish I could go back a little— to that sweet spot where I could still open up and trust, without being naive. But, I know I needed this. The lessons were much needed, and I am growing to be person I am supposed to be.

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A day in San Francisco — Memorial Day

If you have followed my blog for sometime, you probably know about my big move across coast. It's been a few months being a Cali resident, but I haven't gotten out as much as I would have liked. Maybe once we move to a place, it kinda loses the tourist charm that it has when we visit for a weekend. Don't you think? I decided to make this right and this Memorial Day weekend, I spent my first Touristy day in San Francisco. Like anything else, I made a long list of places to see, and spread it across three days based on distance proximity. Yes, it was a whole weekend plan but life get in way and hence it ended up being just a day trip. The day started with a little detour at Bay Trail, near Shoreline Park, followed by a quick brunch at Crepe Vine and a beautiful long drive to the city. The Painting Ladies at Alamo Square was our first stop. These are basically just houses with a Victorian architecture and painted with three or more colors. The whole area l...

I am thankful for

1. Naps: I had been in sleep debt for such a long time now, and over this weekend I slept well and a lot, and I feel like I have some energy back. 2. Alone time: My roommate was busy this weekend, and I was all alone- just doing my sleeping, laundry, reading. Like I have said before , it is a recharge for me to spend some time with just myself without the need to talk or be there for others. 3. Work: Past few months were a long, painful wait to get work. I used to hate those days when I was just waiting and it made me feel so worthless. But finally, I have got it! Bonus point: the perfect location- it's a five minute walk to a beautiful park facing a lake. I have been going there every day during lunch. 4. Fights: Normally, fights aren't something people are thankful for. But sometimes they show you how people care for you or how much you mean to them, so yeah today I am thankful for few. 5. A good news: My childhood friend got engaged! Yay!...

There I was: a story

There I was. Standing in the midst of the hustling crowd, all excited faces around me, all waiting for a change - a new start. Some of them might want a new life, a new career, a new direction or maybe even a new love, but they all had one thing in common - all they wished was to leave behind their past full of mistakes and bad memories, a past filled with betrayals and broken hearts, a past that witnessed all disappointments and let downs. They wanted to put it all behind them, and start over new. They all needed to move on, just as this night would leave behind the darkness and turn into a beautiful canvas, with sparkles all over it, in few minutes. Yes, it's the New Year's Eve party. And I could see all eyes around me carrying that sparkle in them, ready to take risks, ready to go for another adventure, to face their fears, to dare playing with their hearts again. I was wondering what I was doing there, I had no one to be with, no one to kiss at the new year. Go...

Here I scribble

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