Transformation Wednesday: Who am I?

Do you ever look back and fail to recognize the person you once were?

When I look back, I see a much hopeful dreamy version of me— who is also naive and stupid, who is gullible and innocent, who trusts too much, cares too much. I guess we are all like that to some extent, and part of growing up is shedding that innocence and learning to be cautious, more careful with ourselves. But, do you ever feel maybe you got too careful now? Too critical of everything and everyone? It feels like I can almost pin point that moment of transformation. Last year has been crucial in my life— lot of lessons learned, a lot of things I had to see, a lot that I had to endure, and it did change me.

I am no more the hopeless romantic I used to be. I am no more the dreamy person I once was. I don't expect a lot from people now. I guess I have just learned how to be okay with life. I am more practical now. I have learned to not hold back myself for others' convenience. I have learned to voice my opinions. I learned my feelings are valid, and I have to love myself before anyone. I learned I don't need to meet everyone's expectations of me. The people who want to stay in my life will stay. And ones who won't aren't supposed to be in my life. I am enough, as I am.

Some days I do wish I could go back a little— to that sweet spot where I could still open up and trust, without being naive. But, I know I needed this. The lessons were much needed, and I am growing to be person I am supposed to be.

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