In a world of planets and stars; I'm a crescent.
I've always been a crescent…that does not change. I only get better at it.
I've got all the space for myself yet it just feels the same.
A very interesting word has always loomed in my head; "achieve". I constantly feel that I should be doing more, that there IS more to this. I'm always yearning to change something along with myself in the process.
As foolish as I were younger, I was fun to hang around and I know that because "fun" is out of bounds for me now.
But I already made my choice. I was gonna be a better person. I wanted to eliminate as much flaws as I can reach.
And I'm better yet barely having any friends now, or maybe any life.
So I often ask myself if it was all worth it. But I'd be still foolish if I were to believe it was me who induced the change, or that I can be careless again just because I feel like it.
But of course you knew that it was not my choice already.
We grow up. We experience events that shape our perception of the universe. We start seeing things differently, and all the things we thought were important we find now overrated.
We feel things that separate us from our previous thoughts and obligations arise...maybe forever.
But make no mistake; I'm not saying everybody gets to grow up. Some people just don't get the chance to.
But I did.
The word metamorphosis makes all the sense there is to me, the loneliness doesn't change though. I'm still a crescent.
I quite like being all grown up but I hate it.
And I hate the way I came to grow up and face all these sad truths.
PLEASE let her brain cells regenerate. PLEASE let them rest in peace. PLEASE let her dad's operation be successful, because I can bear no more changes in my not so peaceful world.
I understand this had to happen. I understand that it's the natural course of life, I already got the message and I'm not complaining because it's pretty much done if you say so. I only am asking to grow up without any more shocking events, because I changed enough and we both know it.
I'm pleading here for you to spare me all this pain because it's too much, even for me.
I have no one else to turn to so I ask you even if our relationship is not always so great. I only ask because you're the only one who's willing to listen to me and not feel so bored or disgusted.
Allow me to be a full moon. I'm too incomplete.
Whatever good things you're having in store for me; I want to feel them. Because now is the time I need them before another tragedy strikes me.
Just please make them all okay, because I care.
I do care.